In this gritty and emotional exploration of the human condition, Steve Lewis, a dedicated paramedic, faces the devastating aftermath of a fatal collision that casts a dark shadow over his once-passionate commitment to saving lives.
Plagued by guilt and grief, he finds his career, family, and very existence hanging in the balance as he navigates the complexities of trauma both personal and professional. As Steve grapples with the high stakes of his job amidst the scrutiny of a community that admires yet questions him, each life he saves rekindles his passion for his work, reminding him of the profound connections he can forge through compassion and care.
A compelling and visceral journey of personal redemption and triumph over adversity, Shoebox explores the human spirit’s capacity for healing.
“Buckle up for a Code One adrenaline rush! Harrowing yet uplifting, Shoebox puts us inside the skin of a first responder, exposing the highs and desperate lows of life on the front lines. Sean Bedell speaks truth to trauma and vulnerability as only an insider can. A gutting love letter to loyalty, the frailties that make us human, and the true meaning of heroism. “
—Carol Bruneau, author of Brighten the Corner Where You Are and Threshold.
“In this riveting novel, Sean Paul Bedell tells the story of Steve Lewis, a paramedic who works crummy hours for crummy pay but on many days saves someone’s life. On other days, he comes face to face with death. Unexplainable. Unavoidable. Crushing. “I thought about all my calls and congratulated myself for this and cursed myself for that,” Steve says. “I relived every ugly and beautiful scene.” Bedell has written a powerful book that draws you in; he keeps you deeply invested in a complex personal journey. Shoebox never slows down. Bedell masterfully weaves in secondary characters. “From the second I met Robert Warner, everything about him reminded me of a giant slug. I named him The Slug.” He takes the reader places. “This shoebox, this slice of paradise, was my home away from home for forty-eight hours at a time.” Steve is heroic, flawed, and human. He juggles his high-pressure job with family and sometimes drops the ball. If an ambulance ever pulls up to your home, if you are ever at that cataclysmic juncture where you are relying on prayer and hope and a medical miracle, think about Steve and how much he wanted you to make it. Think about the price he paid.”
– Elaine McCluskey, author of Rafael has Pretty Eyes and The Gift Child
In this stark and unsparing coming-of-age story, the shy and intelligent Joel watches helplessly as his alcoholic and abusive paramedic father spirals ever downward and out of control. Joel’s life crumbles further when his older brother, disturbed by the drunken violence inflicted on their mother, flees their home seemingly for good. Convinced he must track down his brother and bring him back home if he is to survive in this lonely and frightening new reality, Joel’s awareness of his father’s workplace experiences gradually begins to expand as he starts to appreciate the many issues faced by first responders, even as he begins to doubt that he will escape the chaos of his recently shattered world. In Somewhere There’s Music, the reader is immersed in a young man’s struggle and desperate search to find what’s left of his family.
Somewhere There’s Music shows both sides of a fine and distinct line: the price trauma takes on those who work with it daily, and the often-greater price paid those who walk its periphery. Sean Paul Bedell’s novel will help you see the pitfalls of a world most of us never stop to think about. An unflinching look at the price paid not only by emergency workers, but by their families. Bedell’s window into the guilt that comes with helping others is clear — like an accident, you want to look away and find you can’t.
– Russell Wangersky, author of Whirl Away and Burning Down the House
“From the pacing, atmosphere, and tone, to the concise, short sentence structure, Sean Bedell’s Somewhere There’s Music will grip readers from the start. As a former firefighter and paramedic, Sean brings a depth to his storytelling that other writers who have not served on the frontlines cannot fully grasp and communicate. It is clear Sean has walked the walk. We owe a debt of gratitude to him for his first responder work and for tackling sensitive subject matter that will resonate with readers. Bravo, Sean. Thank you for your service and for sharing your many and inspiring gifts.”
-Janice Landry, journalist, award-winning author, mental health advocate, and proud daughter of a late Halifax firefighter.
“In this powerful coming-of-age story, Joel Carruthers is dealt a pretty stark hand in life, victim to his father’s post-traumatic stress disorder. Bent on doing the right thing, he fights to keep himself and his family together as their suffering flies under the radar, and in the process finds the unstoppable agency that makes life, all life, matter. Somewhere There’s Music is written with wisdom and heart, a soulful, riveting read. A fabulous debut novel by Sean Bedell.”
– Carol Bruneau, award-winning author of A Circle on the Surface, Glass Voices, and Brighten the Corner Where You Are
“In Joel, Sean Bedell has created a memorable protagonist to cheer for. He is a young man finding his way in a tumultuous living situation, naive to the ways of the world, yet having already experienced much hardship. He is the kind of person who has love in his heart for everyone, even those who hurt him. Which means we feel acutely his many pains and losses, and we experience his world as he does, with hope springing eternal. Bedell also gives us a very real look at the working-class Maritimes of the 1990s, and the ongoing disorder trauma causes. This is a remarkably sensitive and thoughtful novel, much like its main character. You will be riveted by Joel’s coming-of-age journey, and full of hope for his future, even when the odds seem against him. ”
– Chris Benjamin, author, editor, and freelance writer specializing in environment, social justice, and arts & culture. Chris is the managing editor of Atlantic Books Today magazine. His latest book, Boy With A Problem,
“What do we ask of the people that save us? The first responders that race towards disaster? In Somewhere There’s Music we’re plunged into a family dealing with the turmoil of untreated PTSD. Joel’s dad is a paramedic who numbs his tortured mind with alcohol, reeling from rage to regret. Joel – a sensitive and intelligent teenager – is torn between loyalty to his crumbling family and the pull towards a better future. Bedell delves deep into toxic masculinity, poverty, shame and abuse. It’s a raw, unflinching narrative made all the more tense for its small-town setting.”
-Nicola Davison is a photographer and the author of In the Wake.
Sean Paul Bedell 